Asian Wisdom "against" sadness....

[antipop]

Jérôme,

I'm very sad to hear this and what it's doing to Narcissa and you. You do not deserve, no one does. I've had something similar happening very close to me with very dire consequences.

Sadly, we have a rotten system in France. Where even if the kid is caught, he will be treated as a minor, released and start doing it again in 24h. All he would have learned is that, it's ok to do this and consequences are minor. This is all going to waste and I have no word to describe my feelings against that. Anybody selling to a minor should get a very heavy sentence and not see the light of day for the next ten years.

All my thoughts and prayers go to you and your family. I hope you can overcome the challenge and we are there to help you.

If you have time, come by my house over the weekend. This will do you good.

[Jerome W]

Originally Posted by antipop

Jérôme,

I'm very sad to hear this and what it's doing to Narcissa and you. You do not deserve, no one does. I've had something similar happening very close to me with very dire consequences.

Sadly, we have a rotten system in France. Where even if the kid is caught, he will be treated as a minor, released and start doing it again in 24h. All he would have learned is that, it's ok to do this and consequences are minor. This is all going to waste and I have no word to describe my feelings against that. Anybody selling to a minor should get a very heavy sentence and not see the light of day for the next ten years.

All my thoughts and prayers go to you and your family. I hope you can overcome the challenge and we are there to help you.

If you have time, come by my house over the weekend. This will do you good.

Thanks a lot Georges.
I will try to come this week end and will let you the 225 to try.
About sentences, you are right for drug users.
Drug dealing is very different :
After 16 years old : exact same punitions than adults.
Between 13 and 16 : Up to 6 months in jail. And 3700 euros of fine.

[magoo]

My heart goes out to you & your wife, and I echo what others have said, reach out to your friends & know you have all our thoughts & prayers supporting you all.

There is a saying in Buddhism that essentially says Time is like a stream, individual events are like throwing stones into the stream....they ripple for a while, but the stream flows on. As a teenager, I threw a lot of stones & my parents stream must have had some large ripples. I was adopted aged 2 into a very nice, middle class home, my parents were very religious, hard working people......and one by one I took aim at their beliefs & values, along with those of the private school they sent me to as a boarder aged 12. I was a bright kid, but even my own intelligence was something I rejected at that age. When you wrote some time ago about your son becoming the class clown, bored with school it struck a chord......these sort of schools are very good at producing the lawyers, doctors & so on of the future, but they fail the ones who don't fit the blueprint. At that age, I would have blamed my folks for sending me, now I can see it so differently.......one day your son will also come to understand this.

I asked you some time ago what David's favourite subject was, fully expecting the reply would be one of the arts, and indeed it was Art itself (mine was literature). I wonder when you select his next college if its worth finding somewhere that would allow him to let this interest flourish, even if it seems to come at the expense of the more career minded subjects? Better to nurture his passion, the failed maths exam can always be re-taken in the future if he needs it. Personally I'd also keep him at home with you rather than send him as a boarder, its too easy to run rings round your house-master!

Good luck with everything........and here's hoping that one day you all look back on this as just one of the many ripples in the stream of your boy's life!

[Family Progtitioner]

My heart goes out to you and your family.

I just attended a speech by a former DEA (drug enforcement agency) high ranking official given to health care practitioners regarding prescription drug abuse and the problem is an epidemic. When we were kids, getting high meant some weed and maybe the grateful dead. Now it's opiates and benzodiazapines and all kinds of highly addictive and very dangerous shit.

I hope your son finds the right path, it sounds like he has a strong support system. G-d bless

[Jerome W]

Originally Posted by magoo

My heart goes out to you & your wife, and I echo what others have said, reach out to your friends & know you have all our thoughts & prayers supporting you all.

There is a saying in Buddhism that essentially says Time is like a stream, individual events are like throwing stones into the stream....they ripple for a while, but the stream flows on. As a teenager, I threw a lot of stones & my parents stream must have had some large ripples. I was adopted aged 2 into a very nice, middle class home, my parents were very religious, hard working people......and one by one I took aim at their beliefs & values, along with those of the private school they sent me to as a boarder aged 12. I was a bright kid, but even my own intelligence was something I rejected at that age. When you wrote some time ago about your son becoming the class clown, bored with school it struck a chord......these sort of schools are very good at producing the lawyers, doctors & so on of the future, but they fail the ones who don't fit the blueprint. At that age, I would have blamed my folks for sending me, now I can see it so differently.......one day your son will also come to understand this.

I asked you some time ago what David's favourite subject was, fully expecting the reply would be one of the arts, and indeed it was Art itself (mine was literature). I wonder when you select his next college if its worth finding somewhere that would allow him to let this interest flourish, even if it seems to come at the expense of the more career minded subjects? Better to nurture his passion, the failed maths exam can always be re-taken in the future if he needs it. Personally I'd also keep him at home with you rather than send him as a boarder, its too easy to run rings round your house-master!

Good luck with everything........and here's hoping that one day you all look back on this as just one of the many ripples in the stream of your boy's life!

Matt,

Thanks a lot for your message. It resonates truly to us.
I know that a boarding school id not ideal but we won't have him trapped in his room at home anyway. If he stays here, he will be able to see the same band.
He will come home every week end.

[Jerome W]

Originally Posted by Family Progtitioner

My heart goes out to you and your family.

I just attended a speech by a former DEA (drug enforcement agency) high ranking official given to health care practitioners regarding prescription drug abuse and the problem is an epidemic. When we were kids, getting high meant some weed and maybe the grateful dead. Now it's opiates and benzodiazapines and all kinds of highly addictive and very dangerous shit.

I hope your son finds the right path, it sounds like he has a strong support system. G-d bless

So true !
Thanks a lot.
A major problem today is the underestimation of the risks of occasional shit.

[cma29]

Originally Posted by Jerome W

Carlos, Thank you. One of the biggest mistake I made has surely been of not talking enough about shit when he was 11. They start very early now. In a few years, will they start at 9 ? My fife read in a forum the horrible story of a mother of an 8 year old kid who started to smoke shit and she seems to be completely lost.... !!!! The other mistake has been to let him see friends in their homes without knowing the parents first. The best advices to parents of future teens I could give are : - TALK TO THEM ABOUT DRUGS AND HOW THEY DESTROY LIVES - DO NOT THINK THAT YOUR CHILD IS SMART : HE IS NOT. HE IS INFLUENCEABLE TO THE HIGHEST DEGREE LIKE ANY CHILD - WATCH OUT CLOSELY FOR THEIR FRIENDS, BEGINNING AT A VERY YOUNG AGE

Thanks for this great advice, Jerome.

I will share it with my wife.

[Toobs]

Jerome
I am so sorry to read this and my hopes and prayers are with you and your family. Hopefully your son will realize not only the harm he is doing to himself, but also to his Mother and Father.

If there is anything more I can do please don't hesitate to ask.

[Jerome W]

Originally Posted by Toobs

Jerome
I am so sorry to read this and my hopes and prayers are with you and your family. Hopefully your son will realize not only the harm he is doing to himself, but also to his Mother and Father.

If there is anything more I can do please don't hesitate to ask.

Thanks a lot.

Sent from my iPad using A.Aficionado

[Picto]

Jérôme, I hope you cope with this struggling situation and you will manage to take your son unhurt out of it. I’m not expert, nor do I know you and your family but in a way I have been affected by your story. So please forgive me if I am off topic.

Added to drugs addiction and to the manipulation by a so-called “friend”, your 13 years old son is probably starting his teenage years. This may not help you to discuss with him on a positive basis. Whatever you may say as father, he may deny it and be tempted to go the opposite direction to the one you will show him, even if it's a very good one. If this is the case, he behaves as a normal teenager trying to become autonomous and to build his own personality, while claiming his rights to be different regardless of the family rules and values.

Has your son other friends or relatives he can trust? They could show him some evidence of the likely social and health consequences of his emerging addiction. They could also ask him what vital needs do drugs actually meet for him and how he could satisfy them differently.

I wish your son will be able to make his own mind clear on these intimate questions which address his secret Garden.

Bertrand