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James.......Love that video/ It never ceases to make my chuckle.
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Can dogs really talk in America?!! :D
Thank you James, that was a nice one. |
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Yes, but we don’t want the discussion to stray into politics[emoji41] |
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day, my wife and I went into town and visited a shop. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man how about giving a senior citizen a break?' He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him an “asshole”. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tires. So my wife called him a “shit head”. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing more tickets this went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home. We try to have a little fun each day, now that we're retired. It's important at our age... |
Good one. Thanks James for a good laugh.:D
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:roflmao: |
Ellisville, Mississippi, April 12, 2011. An Ellisville school teacher called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found: 1 . The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar 2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose. 3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called. 4.. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate. 5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring. Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed just by pissing and moaning! Thought you'd like to know. |
Haha James, keep 'em coming! :thumbsup::thumbsup:
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Strange sense of humor.:scratch2:
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So................you people think animal cruelty is funny and you thought we'd just like to know. :scratch2:
Ron |
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Christ it a joke folks lighten up. I’m outa here James |
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Guys, it was a joke and no real animals were hurt. Nobody was condoning animal cruelty here. C’mon!
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Wow. Guess I won’t tell any cat jokes.
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This is a joke thread; nuf said.
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I'm glad what little filtering I have left kicked in; I was going to say something about Mississsippi. ;-).
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JMHO- Context is everything! I am very much against animal cruelty... especially dogs (as someone said). My wife and I support several animal rescue agencies. And... while he can never replace Tiger, I just adopted Neo from a “Rescue” two weeks ago. [ATTACH]
I liked James’ joke. So much so I read it to Neo who liked it as well (James— Neo wants to know if you have any cat jokes). If I go to a horror movie about a nun it doesn’t mean I support Nun abuse (or does it? Hmmm.). Now, if the posting was a picture if a dog chained to an outdoor dog house in the Nevada summer or in the Canadian winter with a joke to accompany the photo— I would have had a very strong negative reaction myself, probably even stronger. https://www.audioaficionado.org/atta...8&d=1562420883 . |
Man - can’t swing a dead cat around here without hitting a nerve!
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Morning Smile
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Laughing - and I LOVE my cat! https://www.audioaficionado.org/atta...0&d=1562441812 (Old pic of both my cats) .Attachment 59480 |
Folks,
I meant no disrespect - I have own dogs (Huskys and Labrador's and even a vagabond cat) but I do not any longer as I have trouble getting past the emotional trauma when they pass away. james |
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I did not read the context as a joke but as a factual statement of events and I voiced my opinion. My present Sheltie Merlin will be 15, has congestive heart failure and I know time is short. Although the loss will be traumatic, to say the least, the companionship, unconditional love, and daily joy with him going to work with me, far outways the sorry. I will most likely get another. Peace, Ron |
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I agree about all the qualities a pet provides and I think if I did not spend most of my time helping with the grand-kids I would consider another dog - this time probably a rescue. james |
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Haha, good one James! :thumbsup: |
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When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa
began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered. Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration,he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom. Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?' And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree . Not a lot of people know this |
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